Denial

2:18 Am, Its about time that I shut those lights and go to bed, but it is not always easy.

I Feel the stress and pressure from this essay that I have to submit and all I want is for it to just finish and go away!

I have decided that despite the hard effort and work that I put in the last two weeks building

our business plan was not enough, rather, I am keen on finishing working on a reflective paper

that is due in two weeks time because i will be leaving next week and I have no intention of carrying this with me to London when I will meet my dad!

After hours of trying to read as much academic journals as i can my classmates and I were chilling on a Saturday night when one of my friends brought to our attention that t the lives we are living in St. Andrews is soon coming to its epic end!

With only one more module left almost everyone will be leaving St. Andrews and living in London or Edinburgh to work at summer placements and very few of us are perhaps staying in St. Andrews.

At that very moment I was in denial of that very fact, I did not want to circum to the idea that this dream I had since 8th grade to live abroad is coming to an end! more importantly I did not want to see all the friendships I made this year become part of my past.

I cannot imagine not waking up one day from this questionable bed I have in my dorm room, not knock on my Flat mate door to hang out in town and even take my stroll down our infamous "green mile" to get to our beloved Gateway building.

What makes life here in St. Andrews so special is that its simple, very simple and that is despite the stress that I currently am in. As much as I love Dubai and have come to forgive its flaws, I find life there very complicated in so many different aspects that would need a blog on its own!

another part of my denial is the fact that I hate saying goodbye! I have made many great friends in St. Andrews who had such a great impact in my life and made this experience here better than I could have imagined. how could I tell these people have a great life and perhaps only see them once in every two/three years after spending almost every day of my life in St. Andrews with them?

I have never regretted my decision of coming to the small quirky town of St Andrews, I have learnt to love it everyday and will make sure to savor every moment I am here.

2:45 Am now i seriously have to get to bed!

Thailand: It's Different

Thailand was a new experience for me from the different landscapes of scotland and Dubai and here I present you with Thailand part one, more pictures to come :) and I hope you enjoy my photojournalistic amateur skills

Reflection: gut feelings

Being Back to my routine life in St Andrews is quite surreal, with the first week over I wasn't sure how to make of it. I find myself back to the basics with my lack of enthusiasm to do work with such short days and laziness is always a great prospect!

yet i had a great deal of time of thinking to do, and the prospects of pursuing Photography is becoming much more stronger in my mind, I find that there is a drive in me that knows that perhaps my chance is here and right now and I must take a hold of it.

It may be the laziness and my creative imagination talking but have you ever had such a strong gut feeling about something? They speak of it fondly in various media outlets, it must not be part of someone's figment of imagination. I just know it is the right track for me!

call me crazy, call my whatever you like but I think theres something about this spontaneous feeling that I have a future in this crazy world of photography!

Reflections: Thoughts during my Final boarding call

When I first wrote this entry during my last half an hour in Dubai, I was smart enough to assume that it was irrelevant to save it since it was in the process of being published, but how wrong was I when my page got erased and I watched each heart felt word disappear.

Yet I will try my very best to recreate my thoughts but perhaps that will not be the very case, but I will begin with how I concluded and that is this entry is dedicated to the people that have always been the source of joy in my life, my family.

38 days in Dubai and 8 Days in Bangkok summed up this long winter break to which I spent (other than the days working on my papers) with my family went by so fast that I cant comprehend even while sitting and writing this entry here on the plane.

During my last days in St. Andrews I detested the idea of coming back home for such a long period! I wanted to explore the world more yet once I reached home my roots began to cling to the familiar soil it was once rooted in. even my belly would agree that food tastes better in Dubai (maybe that has to do with the fact I cant cook, but that’s another case).

When I initially set to write this entry I was trying to put down my adventures in Bangkok however my mind was clouded with the thoughts of my family that I am leaving behind and I could not put down the right words , all I wanted was a big hug from my family. I wouldn’t mind listening to another hour of my sisters constant batterings about her latest challenges on the Play station.

Yet I know that this is something I have to do for myself, I set out to the world outside so I could find myself and detach from my families dependence, as much as they will support me, I need to learn to stand on my own.

So far this entry makes St andrews feel like this evil, dark and ugly place but on the contrary I love that town! I miss my friends and the routines of university but all I want to really say is what perhaps every most cliché movie, song and books really try to tell you and that is family you build is everything.

Reflection/photography: Once upon a time

Lost, yes lost, is perhaps the word that would describe my past temperament in life; I wasn’t sure to what extent my abilities in various outlets would lead me. I wanted to do many things simultaneously instead of focusing my energy towards one creative array.

However, what I never realized was that my various hobbies and dreams do point to a specific commonality and that is my deep and undying love for storytelling.

Ever since I can remember, I always loved telling stories, perhaps enjoyed the indulgence of the attentive listeners as I weaved up a short fiction story or spoke of my journeys around the world (perhaps this is the reason I talk far more than I should :p) and I always wanted to keep my stories s alive, hence I began putting them down on paper while at the same time I would take every chance my family gave me to use their camera hoping to keep evidence of my story.

Yet when it comes to photography, I cannot explain to you the sense of serenity I feel when I hold that camera and I click away.

Through the lens, I watch as a story is being unravelled before my eyes, a story that needs to be heard. My dream of being a photojournalist is something I would love to pursue in the future, I believe that there are many interesting stories around the world that needs to be heard, but for now I understand that my dreams may have to wait, yet I do not let that put me down and I continue to enjoy my love of storytelling.

Here is my recent shot with some family friends, these kids (and kids in generally )are more enjoyable to take photos with than adults because they never put up a wall, but rather never shy away from raw emotions. I hope you enjoy this story :)

Review: The SandFish by Maha Gargash

Its been a while since I found myself lost in between the lines of a bounded novel because for the last four months all my eyes have been subjected to were various academic journals (Harvard, Stanford, Emory, you name them I read them!).

and so for my first journey it takes me back home to the United Arab Emirates during the 1950’s where a woman named Noora tries to find herself in the midst of troubling times in the UAE in the novel called the Sand fish by Maha Gargash.

Noora , a hot headed and stubborn young Emarati woman, wasn’t like any other woman who grew up in the hard isolated town in the mountain areas of the United Arab Emirates with very little to look forward to, as content as she was with her life her brother made sure he will help build her a better future.

As she was wedded to a wealthy man, she soon begins to transcend from being the teenager into womanhood learning the lessons of what marriage had to give her, yet Noora has always found herself fighting the urge to show her true colours as she dips her leg into deep waters that could lead to very dangerous consequences.

The story had its moments, at start I felt the writing could have been better sought out (being one of the first novels presented from the UAE) , I understood that it tried to portray the colloquial mindset of the UAE, it still felt it was not meshed well between the English and “arabic” (comparing to how Hosseini manages to mesh the colloquial afghan to both his novels)

And being a cynic, I have a very biased opinion of books where the main woman character is this will strong-minded woman! Its just the same sob story when it comes to reading any other stories and I always seek some novelty when the novelist creates a character (similar to how almost all characters in books love to read, or want to be writers) however Noora did grow on me and I did find her character evolvement quite interesting (from strong willed towards being a quiet woman)

However the book ending is what left me unimpressed, however I understand she wanted to let us paint our own ending for the Characters, I always seek to see what the writers wants us to see.

Yet overall, I highly applaud her for her effort of producing such a piece of work and I hope she can help provide the motivation and inspiration of many more other arab writers (and perhaps she has opened a door for other UAE authors)

For those interested in purchasing the book here is on this link:amazon

Music: 2010 Beats

Everyone knows me as the big rocker in town, but I do enjoy a lot of my sudden swings to trance/house a but stay true to my roots of Alternative Rock always :p

Anyways! here are the songs that I have been listening to since the start of 2010!

Missing you - David Guetta
Buy MP3: Missing You (Featuring Novel) [Explicit]

David Guetta never seems to fail to pump me up and with Missing you ft novel it reaches another level of taking you at another level!

The song is one of the most unique songs on his latest album One love (which is one of the best albums of 2009 I might add). For some reason it reminds me of a blend of some Chocolate Puma (I guess it has to do with Vocals) but I know many would argue this point with me!

anyways heres a link to enjoy the song :D

Speaking A Dead Language By Joy Williams
Buy MP3: Speaking a Dead Language

I always appreciate the Female/ singer/songwriter genre, although the songs arent usually on constant replay in my I-tunes, but there is always one or two songs that really pop out and there is no surprise that this song was featured on Greys Anatomy (where i find most of my music this genre). the beauty of her voice is why I added it to the top six.

Fader By The Temper Traps
Buy MP3:Fader

The New upcoming band from Australia bring such a new flavor to the Alternative rock genre which really was in dire need to revive the genre! Their whole album is filled with songs that were just all well worth listening to, but I think Fader is one of those songs that transcends all genres and have an appeal to other genre lovers which is why I put it up on my top six!!

Daniel By Bat For Lashes
Buy MP3:Daniel

Bat for lashes is another song featured on the Greys Anatomy series which is a beautiful alternative haunting song (I like to think of her as a Rock La roux) , I think I appreciate her more for her creativity in her music, videos and even style (perhaps she reminds me far to much of myself ! XD) but these eccentric beats get you hooked from the very start of the song!

Night of the hunter By 30 seconds to Mars
Buy MP3:Night Of The Hunter

people would think I am a bit biased for putting up 30 seconds to mars up here because of my infatuation for Jared Letto (which is perhaps partially true :p) but! this is one of those songs that managed to really something new, as a huge 30 seconds to mars fan this song is very different to the "typical" 30 seconds to rock yet it still poses its "alternative rock" genre! by far this is another all time best albums of 2009!

Careful by Paramore
Buy MP3:Careful

As a huge Paramore fan, let me first say that I was quite disappointed by their latest album which i felt very much that each song was very repetitive and sounded similar to the next, yet the first song on the album was by far the only song that stood out in my opinion, which is a good track (yet not better than the their older songs) yet i still like listening to it!